Marriage and Hinduism
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The perfect couple
Swami Swaroopananda, Grow To Love In The Laboratory Of Marriage, May 11 2017: The Times of India
It is impossible to feel a sense of peace and satisfaction if there is disharmony in relationships and family life.Unless human relationships are stable, operating in any environment family, social, national, or even professional becomes a pain. Thus one has to understand relationships and the expression, `love the family’.
It is not immediately possible to love everyone. One learns to grow in love in the laboratory of the house and family .When one receives love from parents, brothers, sisters and other relatives, one begins to love; such a loved personality is able to extend love to the outside world.
In India, a family starts when a man and a woman agree to create the bond of marriage. The perfect example of an exquisite couple is Shiva and Parvati.Bhavani, that is, Parvati represents shraddha understanding and Shankara portrays vishwas love. These are two important elements in a successful marriage. Where there is love, you believe in that person, you trust that person; there is harmony and an understanding of each other. This element of trust is illustrated in the significant ceremony of paanigrahanam where the father of the bride hands over his daughter to the bridegroom. The husband has been entrusted someone's precious jewel and promises to love, care, support, and undertake full responsibility for his wife.
In Manu Smriti, the highest place has been accorded to women. It says that if a husband goes astray to another woman, the wife has the right to refuse him marital rights but conversely , if the woman is misguided, the husband must forg misguided, the husband must forgive her and still give her protection. This is the status given to her; the husband is her protector and marriage has to be understood as a responsibility .
Bhavani and Shankara, the divine couple, represent a perfect marriage.Goswami Tulsidas points out that they are like a word and its meaning always together without losing their identity.They act as one, but are not crushed by one another. Marriage is not clinging; marriage is not possessiveness.
Two mighty trees can grow to similar heights together and still maintain a harmonious relationship; when both develop in their own right and are given the independence to progress.
There is no unfoldment in the personality if there are insecurities and attempts to repress and overshadow the other. Love should not be bondage.believed that by marrying, two It is believed that by marrying, two people will complete each other. However, two incomplete personalities or two finites can never make a whole. Gurudev Chinmayananda jokingly remarked: “If you are complete, why do you need marriage anyway?“ Marriage is to enable each one to grow and become complete.Very often, people marry in order to fulfil their personal insecurities and desires.
To enjoy a meaningful marriage it is essential to give, share, and allow each other to grow to completeness. There are bound to be expectations. A husband and wife were arguing and the woman complained, “I had so many expectations from you but you disappointed most of them.“
“I had only one expectation from you,“ replied the husband, “Have no expectations from me!“ It is important to let your partner be aware of your expectations because by nature, men and women are intrinsically different. They express emotions in different ways and once this is understood, a relationship will be successful.
